Thursday, May 07, 2015

Auto Idiocy

I saw an ad the other day for a new car. Brand new car, totally redesigned or so they said. You know what they promoted for the entire commercial? The pre-programmed dashboard that will take calls on your cell phone, your twitter feed and your Facebook.

Now I give them credit, there is a button that you can push which sends the message: "I'm driving, will get back to you later." A button mind you that you still have to push while you're going 75 mph, looking at the dashboard instead of the highway where you are about to end my life.

I believe the expression I'm looking for is: WTF!

Why aren't we banning all cell phone and internet use while driving? Sorry, am I making too much sense? I've been in cars with drivers who are on the phone. I told one of them to pull over and let me out, when they laughed, I took the phone and threatened to throw it out the window.

This is not wave of the future, it's the way of death.

Sure, sure, I know. You always pull over to answer a call or take a message. You're a responsible adult and/or a lying asshat. But you know teens are not going to do that, you know because you've either attended a funeral for one of them or know someone who has. Dead kids splattered on the tarmac because they had to OMG! about Jason dumping Brittany.

Drivers need to drive, not talk on the phone, not text, not write pithy twitter comments or read their friend's Facebook updates.

Start-up steps for driving a car:
1) unlock the car door
2) sit in car
2a) [alternate - strap young child into car seat]
3) turn off your damn phone
4) start engine
5) do not buy any automobile that has on-the-road internet or phone access, when the car starts up, the internet should automatically shut down [exceptions allowed for pre-driving GPS programming and auto-porn].

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